There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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