I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
