i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
