I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my being single is dangerous.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
