You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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