No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
