The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
