peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
