She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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