Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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