You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
