i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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