im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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