I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
