So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
