He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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