If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I know her cup size but not her name....
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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