Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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