if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
