Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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