I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
