sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize