I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
pop tarts are not kleenex
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
