so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
