whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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