I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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