she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
two words: eviction party
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
