Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have aggressive nipples.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize