so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
