I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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