Only a mothe r could love this liver
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
