I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I understand Curling. That high.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
