I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She even gives head with a lisp.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
