I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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