We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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