I just cut my nipple shaving
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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