Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
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I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
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drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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