You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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