There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
