Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
