didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
