I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she smelled like a LAN party
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
