I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
