Will you blow on my dice?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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