i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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