What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
