I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
