I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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