Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
