I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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