Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
