im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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