lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
