I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
