nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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