Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
