Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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