My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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