Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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