you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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