Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
