i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
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you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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